Men Cry - Joan Turu - ★★★

AUTHOR: Joan Turu

TRANSLATOR: Anyeliz Pagan Munoz

GENRE: Children's Picture Book

PUBLICATION DATE: April 7, 2026

RATING: 3 stars.

In a Nutshell: A picture book about a boy who learns the wrong things about what it means to be a man. Excellent intent, but the execution needs a little more finetuning both in the plot and in the illustrations. Still, it ought to work when accompanied by discussions with an insightful adult.

Plot Preview:

Little Neil has been a bit worried of late. He can see clearly from his height chart that he is growing up, but when boys grow up, they become men, and no one has told Neil what men are supposed to do. Neil tries to observe and learn from everything around him, including his grandfather, his other male relatives, men passing by on the street, men in books and on TV. From this, Neil makes a comprehensive list of what men are supposed to do and not do. He implements this on the very next day in school. But despite his ‘macho’ endeavours, he doesn’t feel well. He goes to the school nurse, and there, to his horror, he bursts out crying. But men don’t cry, right? Has Neil already failed at being a man?

This book was originally published in Spanish under the title “Els homes plorem” in 2021. This English translation will be published in April 2026.

I grabbed this book as soon as I saw the title. Who can resist a book that finally teaches little boys what it truly means to be a man! After all, it's not like popular culture is replete with good male icons, and many parents too are still living with outdated ideas of masculinity. Plus, it's always easier to mould someone's thinking when young than to rectify it once they grow older. Such a book would be so important then! Much to my disappointment, the book doesn't exactly reach the potential promised.

The dedication has its heart in the right place: “to the men who embrace their own vulnerability.”

Neil is an interesting character, but a lot about his situation isn’t explained. We don’t know why he doesn’t have a father around (which is fine; many boys don’t), nor can we understand why he is suddenly worried about being a man. Regardless, I like his sincere attempt at finding out the answer to his query, even though he doesn’t end up learning the right things. What’s wrong in the book isn't a Neil issue but a plotting issue.

For one, having a male nurse in Neil’s school was an outstanding plotting decision. I haven’t read a single picture book where the school nurse is a man. There was so much opportunity here to talk about gender expectations and perceptions. Sadly, the nurse’s role, once he is done with Neil’s medical examination, is restricted to two tiny sentences, both connected to crying.

Further, a major chunk of the book is devoted to Neil’s exploration of the meaning of manhood. But his genuine conversation with the nurse is limited to four pages. This sounds like a lot, but remember it is a picture book, so four pages is just about 5-6 sentences. The switch in Neil’s behaviour is instantaneous, which is good. But the result of the switch is barely worth appreciating. He doesn’t apologise to those he hurt with his “machoisms” earlier that day. He only greets one friend and they instantly forget everything and move on (probably true to life as kids often behave this way). But worst, the readers doesn’t learn anything about Neil’s realisation of what it takes to be a man, except that crying doesn’t make him less of a man. We just get a vague acknowledgement that he knows now what kind of person (Note: “person”, not “man”. Biggest indication of the missed opportunity!) he wants to be and that he decides to “figure out the rest once he got older.” All this within just one page! 😐

The initial content was actually excellent. However, the meagre interaction with the nurse and the single-page turnaround dipped the overall impact of the book. Reducing some of the initial *research* done by Neil (either by eliminating some repetitive ideas or by shifting some text to the full-page graphics), would have provided a few more pages at the end to add necessary details to Neil’s learning. It could have been an apology for his behaviour, it could have been an acknowledgment that not all movies and books have role models worth emulating, it could even have been an extended scene with the nurse exploring why the little student thought men don’t cry. 

Basically, all the discussion-worthy points about the lesson are missing from the text, so it is entirely up to the adult reading the book with the child to fill in all the gaps.

That said, I do love how the book demonstrates popular, social, and cultural perceptions of what it means to be a man. All the examples that Neil finds in books, movies, and video games are a sad reflection of how aggressive the portrayal of masculinity is in modern works. We aren’t doing right by boys (and men) at all if all we teach them is this stereotypical macho nonsense. (To be clear, some genres such as romances, UpLit, and historical fiction do have amazing male role models. But many men are reluctant to read these as they are seen as women’s genres.)

A picture book needs ample support from its illustrations, and in that regard, the artwork in this book performs quite well. Of course, it cannot resolve the above shortcomings because it is limited to supporting the text. But on its own, it is *mostly* outstanding. The graphics are coloured in a mixed water colour plus colour pencil style, lending a vividness to the pages. Neil’s expressions along with his gap-toothed smile are fun to watch. We can't miss his pet cat, who is clearly a vital part of his life. However, one of the pages shows Neil studying his chart of masculine attributes and this has some difficult words (belligerent, smug, reckless, vulnerability) that younger kids won't be familiar with and are slightly tough to explain as well. The only page where the graphics generated mixed emotions in me was the one supporting the line: “Neil paid attention to the men in his family”. This shows Neil’s relatives at a funeral, where all the women are crying but the men aren’t. While I get that this pivotal scene leads Neil to assume that men don’t cry, it also plays into stereotypes by showing all the women sobbing hard while the men don’t even look sad. Further, it even shows an old lady in the open casket. How the heck do you explain dead bodies in coffins to a three-year-old reader? A closed casket might have been better.

Overall, I adore the intent of this book but the execution needed more finesse. It’s sad that the build-up got a lot more page space than the resolution. Then again, it at least raises the topic of the meaning of manliness. With the right discussion, it could still work well.

Recommended to be read strictly with adult guidance and with loads of discussion. The official target age is 3-7 years.

My thanks to Charlesbridge for providing the DRC of “Men Cry” via NetGalley. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.

A picture book that handles a similar concept but in a much better way is 'Rhinos Don't Cry' by Mark Grist. It is not gender-focussed so it can work for all kids.Do check that one out as well!