Homebody: A Graphic Memoir of Gender Identity Exploration - Theo Parish - ★★★★.¼

AUTHOR: Theo Parish

GENRE: Graphic Memoir

PUBLICATION DATE: April 23, 2024

RATING: 4.25 stars.

In a Nutshell: A graphic memoir about a nonbinary person’s journey towards finding the right home within their body. Honest, heartfelt, and heartwarming. Loved the smooth narrative, with the conversational approach helping the content feel more personal. Not a book about definitions or politics. Much recommended to those looking for a book about the interconnection between gender and identity.

Theo Parish, a Norwich resident, never realised why they felt odd about certain things, such as wearing girls’ clothes or having girly hairstyles. They also didn’t understand why they gravitated towards hobbies not traditionally considered feminine. It was only after many years of introspection, self-awareness, online searches, and personal interactions, that Theo figured out their true identity of being transgender and nonbinary.

In this debut comic work, Theo takes us along their journey, using the metaphor of a journey to help us understand what it is like to be transgender. They set the correct expectations right from the start: this book is not about definitions and labels, just about doing what you think is right and best for yourself.

I love that the book is written in the first person, and addressed to the reader. This makes us feel like we are getting a ringside view of Theo’s experiences. It also makes the tone of the writing highly conversational and connected instead of detached.

The map and journey analogy Theo uses in the first chapter is brilliant. It sets a clear foundation to understand why some people might not fit into the presupposed gender binary. I also love the metaphorical “homebody”, never expecting it to be so literal – quite smart!

The book is quite fast-paced. It is easy to complete the 224 pages within an hour or so. The writing never focusses on the macro aspects such as governmental policies about LGBTQ citizens, pride protests and so on. As a memoir, its focus is solely on Theo’s lived experiences. Thus readers can find much information and inspiration from Theo’s story because they keep the content very grounded and relatable. Even if you aren’t trans/nonbinary, you will be able to identify with some of the internal confusion Theo feels about their physical identity and societal expectations about gender roles.

In between the comic chapters containing Theo’s life experiences, there are several pages that contain declarations and affirmations about the trans identity and Theo’s self-realisation about the same. These are fabulous and probably my favourite part of the book. I especially loved the line: “There is no one way to be transgender, just like there is no one way to be cisgender.”

Unlike many people facing such dilemmas, Theo is blessed with an incredibly supportive family. Be it their parents or their siblings, there is neither a question nor an apprehensive look at Theo’s stages of “coming out.” They are always readily accepting. That’s one reason why Theo’s struggles stay somewhat muted in the story as a lot of their identity conflict is internal and introspective rather than expressed through external verbal arguments or bullying. I am not sure if Theo sanitised the more traumatising parts of their life experiences to keep the overall tone of the book slightly milder as it is aimed at teens as well as adults. Most of the LBGTQIA memoirs I have read are full of angst or anger, especially at the start. Not this one. The dominant tone is of love, care, and acceptance, even in moments of uncertainty. This makes the book feel unique.

I wish the content had clarified Theo’s age at various stages of their journey. There is a clear passage of time, but after the post-school years, it is tough to figure out how long Theo took before they finally understood where they stood on the gender spectrum and found inner peace with their newly recognised identity.

The illustrations are mostly good. Almost monochromatic, the graphics use sober pastel tones throughout. This muted palette helps keep the focus on the characters without distractions. I especially loved the sketching of the “homebody”. I also appreciate how, though it's a comic about the body, it stays away from nudity.

Much recommended. Theo’s story is a great way for us to understand the complexities of gender and how all of us, no matter our gender identity, struggle to feel at home in this body of ours at some time or the other. As they rightly point out, “we are ALL deserving of comfort and safety[…] in our homebody.”