You are Your Own Fairy Tale - Amanda Lovelace - ★★★★

AUTHOR: Amanda Lovelace

GENRE: Poetry

PUBLICATION DATE: March 15, 2022

RATING: 4 stars.

In a Nutshell: A powerful feminist contemporary poetry collection combining the poet’s three books on the fairy tale theme. I loved the first two books more than the third one, but I appreciated the message in all three of them. Much recommended.

I'm not a poetry fan, especially of contemporary poetry that, to me, seems to function with neither rhyme nor meter. I can’t understand how sentences broken across lines without any literary devices can be acclaimed as poems. That said, there are a few (very very very few!) contemporary poets whose works do stir my heart and who motivate me to keep attempting poetry, even if I can’t make head or tail of poetic attributes most of the time. One such poet is Amanda Lovelace.

This beautiful hardcover edition combines three of Lovelace’s poetry collections – ‘Break Your Glass Slippers’, ‘Shine Your Icy Crown’, and ‘Unlock Your Storybook Heart‘ – into a single hardcover edition. I had read ‘Break Your Glass Slippers’ a couple of years ago. As someone who has struggled with body image issues throughout my life, this book spoke directly to my heart. It was my first encounter with Lovelace’s poems. Since then, I have been a huge fan of her thoughts, which always include some kind of self-care message such as putting yourself first, or accepting yourself, or forgiving yourself and making peace with yourself. It was a treat to revisit those verses again through this compilation.

As you can guess, the common factor across the three books is fairy tales, and the shared motif is self-acceptance and self-love. The title of this special edition thus represents not just the common theme, but also delivers the powerful message that comes out strongly from each of the included books: 'You Are Your Own Fairy Tale.' In other words, don’t wait for a prince to rescue you; write your own happy ending.

This special edition begins with a lovely introductory note by the author, whereby she touches upon the negative perception of fairy tales in the world, and how she wishes to change the narrative by empowering fairy tale characters to find their own happiness. Though the poems are obviously fictional, she admits that they are her most personal work. And reading through them, you will realise how often the line between fairy tale and reality blurs in those words. Lovelace doesn’t shy away from tough themes, but she always handles the content sensitively and even presents content warnings. I love how sweetly she advocates self-care at the start of each set.

The three books are written in a similar pattern. A poem, usually written in second person, conveys to the key character (and indirectly, to the reader), some social expectations and traditional conventions that the girl is expected to conform to. These are usually from a conservative point of view. The title of the poem is mentioned after the last line, and this approach works excellently in ensuring that we read the poem without any preconceived notion of its intent. Only on reaching the title does the exact motive of the poem become evident. This negative ideology is followed by a wise response from someone close to the character, usually contradicting the message of the poem and advising the character on the more fulfilling path. This special “someone” is the fairy godmother in the first book, the elder sister in the second book, and "her books" in the final one. This writing approach makes the entire book feel conversational, and thanks to the personal nature of the themes and the intimate tone, it actually feels like we are having a one-to-one heartfelt session with the poet.

‘Break Your Glass Slippers’ tackles poems on body image, ‘Shine Your Icy Crown’ contains thoughts on depression and anxiety, and ‘Unlock Your Storybook Heart‘ has verses tackling grief and the pressure of perfectionism. The third book didn't work that well for me, not because it was bad but because its themes of young love and grief over parental death weren't as personal or relevant to me. But the first two books absolutely resonated with my heart. One of the lines – "she’s all self-deprecating jokes with a hint of sarcasm, so it’s no wonder that no one realizes how much pain blooms just beneath her perfectly placed cardigan" – felt like it was written with me in mind.

On the flip side, it was a bit annoying to see everything written in small case. I know that’s Lovelace’s standard writing style, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it, right? However, the biggest flaw of the book to me is that there is not a single positive male representation in the entire book. I am not a fan of feminism that strives to advocate the superiority of women by indulging in male-bashing. Can we please aim for equality of all genders and rise together, instead of stepping on the backs of the others in our quest for progress? (The same rule also applies to races and religions, though that issue isn’t connected to this book.) Moreover, is it good for young girls who read such lines to believe that no man is to be trusted, ever? That only women are good? That kind of generalisation doesn’t sit well by me.

Considering my extraordinarily renowned poetic prowess, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to any of my friends that I read this entire book as prose than as poetry. 😁 To me, poetry is a steady poetic meter (in any pattern), some rhyming words or at least a few literary devices. My brain refuses to consider any text that looks like fragmented sentences as a “poem.’ Lovelace’s poems do use repetition excellently, but this device isn’t present in all of her verses. If you ask me, I didn’t feel like most of this book contained “poetry.” Those who understand/appreciate modern poetry might be able to judge the lyricism better and will hopefully have a different opinion.

Why then did I still give it 4 stars? Simple. It's not her “poetry” that touches my heart; it’s her messages. Most of the thoughts in these poems are inspirational without being corny. Many lines make me feel like they were written just for me, and this direct heart-to-heart connect is the most valuable attribute of this work.

That said, the book might feel a bit repetitive if read at a go. After all, we get 460+ pages of verses in more or less the same structure and similar themes. So it is better that you enjoy these verses at a relaxed pace to appreciate the words and imbibe the life lessons better.

Recommended to those interested in an empowering poetry book. While this is an inspirational collection in many ways, it isn't written as self-help but as self-care, and that makes all the difference. It would make a wonderful gift for young girls.

Ending this review with some of the lines that I would like myself to remember in the long run:

🌈 every person deserves to see themselves in the fairy tales they read.

🌈 my value doesn't go down when my weight goes up.

🌈 respect yourself enough not to buy into a system whose success depends on making you feel insecure.

🌈 if you avoid all the stormy chapters, how will you ever find meaning in the rainbow-filled ones?

🌈 life is not something that can be experienced on a deadline.