The Priest, the Boy and the Slug - Sirius Imnot - ★★★★

AUTHOR: Sirius Imnot
GENRE: Short Story
PUBLICATION DATE: December 2, 2024
RATING: 4 stars.

In a Nutshell: *Sirius*, I am when I say that this “fairy tale for adults” is dark but gripping. Kidding, *I am not* when I say that this is one of the best indie short stories I have read in terms of plot and atmosphere. Honest, I am when I say that had this gone through a stricter editing, it would have been an easy five-star for me.


Plot Preview:
Once upon a time, there was a naughty Boy and a bad Priest. When their paths cross, Boy’s life turns into a nightmare. Hope comes in the form of a Slug.


Woohoos:
🐛 At just twenty-two pages in length, this story is a quick read. But it will not leave your head for a long time after you turn the last digital page.

🐛 A wonderful mix of multiple genres: humour, magical realism and horror (non-paranormal). Each shows up strongly even though the page count is limited. I loved how the writing blended these distinct content categories into a cohesive plot.

🐛 The tone of the story, just like a fairy tale as promised. And if you know fairy tales, you would be aware that they aren’t Disney in tone but “Grimm”. I love how this story retains the original dark fairy tale vibe.

🐛 Fabulous atmosphere, especially considering the short length of the story. I felt every scene to the core of my being!

🐛 The fact that the main characters stay nameless throughout this journey. It is easier to visualise Boy and Priest for what they are than for what they are called.

🐛 The naughtiness of Boy – what a fun writing choice! The story would have been a bit lacklustre and straightforward had Boy been a goody-goody fellow who did no wrong. It is tougher to take a mischievous character and still make the reader feel sympathy for him.

🐛 The story generates a multitude of emotions: happiness, despair, fear, relief, anger… I still can’t believe the author managed all this so successfully within just a few pages.

🐛 So many witty lines in the author’s trademark tongue-in-cheek style. (Mass being a “weekly reprimand” – LMAO!)

🐛 Many of my reviewer friends kept calling this a dark story, and even the caption mentions the same. So my mind went to the darkest possibility. (Put ‘priest’ and ‘boy’ together and imagine the worst that could happen.) Thankfully, the story does NOT go there; I just cannot handle child sexual abuse stories. While the tale is still dark, I am relieved, for my sake, that it doesn’t go into that depressing territory.

🐛 A fabulous ending that turned the story from great to memorable. I adored that last line! *chef’s kiss!*


Hmmms:
🤔 The main reason for the dip in my rating is the lack of proper editing. I am lenient with a few writing issues, but if they keep popping up, I lose my focus. In this story, while the plot is outstanding, it contains a lot of repetitiveness. There are also a couple of grammatical errors and an over-abundance of adverbs. Maybe the adverbs could be pardoned as a deliberate writing choice to exaggerate the fairy-tale-like vibe of the tale, but the rest needs finetuning. Keeping in mind that the author’s first language isn’t English and this is a debut indie work, this is just a Hmmm and not a Meh. I am sure this point won’t bug most readers.

🤔 I couldn’t place what kind of a church would have a temple and even a prison in the chapel structure. Creative license, perhaps? This isn't a major issue; just that the curiosity of this Catholic is stoked to know more.


All in all, I adored the story but the proofing problems took away a part of my enjoyment. I wish with all my heart that someone would take this story and give it a good, honest and strict edit because it is truly one of the most amazing stories I have read in every way except for that final step of finetuning. (Dear Author: If you do get this edited and upload a fresh version, please keep me in the loop and I will happily update my review.)

Despite my issues with the editing, I strongly recommend this work to you as the story itself is so beautiful, made even better by that ending. Just because it starts with ‘Once Upon a time, don’t give it to kids, especially sensitive ones.

5 stars for the plot, 3 stars for the editing. Averaging to… 4 stars.


Disclaimer: The author, in his real avatar, is a dear Goodreads friend who decided to provide this little story for free not just to his friends but to all and sundry. So I didn't pay anything for this story, nor did the author pay me anything for my feedback. This review is voluntary and honest. Siriusly!

If you want to give this story a try, you can download it from either of these links:

If you are a Kindle Unlimited subscriber, then do read it by borrowing the title on KU so that Amazon can give the author some pennies in compensation for using their platform.

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