The Camel and the Butterfly - Michael Whitworth

Author: Michael Whitworth

Genre: Contemporary Fiction

Rating: 3.25 stars.

In a Nutshell: A beautiful story but the author’s inexperience shows. If you can ignore the flaws in the writing style, this story will soothe your heart and make you believe in humanity again.

Story Synopsis:

90 year old Thomas Mirren is a WWII veteran who now spends his time with his old friends and volunteering at veteran-related events such as selling poppies. On one such occasion, when he catches two teen shoplifters red-handed, they retaliate by spreading a rumour that he has never been in the army and is faking his “hero” status.

Ian Rogers is a journalist who lives in the same town and works for the local newspaper. His boss hears rumours of a WWII imposter and he hands the story over to Ian, expecting a scandalous exposé. When Ian can’t find any info in the database related to Thomas Mirren, he wonders if there’s some truth to the rumour.

Michel and Nicole Moreau were saved during WWII by an unknown English soldier. All these decades, they have waited to hear from/about him. Will their wish come true?

The story comes to us in third person limited narration.

I enjoyed the concept of the story. It is simple yet heartfelt, generating vibes of old-fashioned fiction in a modern era. Many of the characters are loveable. Thomas Mirren is the star of the show, and he holds his track very well on his able shoulders. Just because he is a senior citizen, don’t assume this book to be another “Ove” kind of story. Thomas isn’t a curmudgeon but a gentle and friendly old man. His relationship with his late wife Ellen is so touching! All the old geezers in this story pass remarks about the current generation, including their habit of not walking anywhere, the overdependence on devices, the increasing obesity, and even the strange fascination with “obscenely tight cycle shorts”. These elements were entertaining, and wise too!

Where the book falters is in its execution. It becomes too ambitious and thereby ends up convoluting things needlessly. I have seen many debut writers succumb to the same issue – they want to include a lot within a single book. I wish I could reach out to all of them and request them to go easy on themselves and their books. Here’s where this book could have functioned better for me:

1. There are way too many named characters. In fact, within the first 15% itself, there were about 22 characters with spoken lines. I stopped counting the characters after this point. A few key characters do the job much better than mentioning every Tom, Dick, and Harry by name, thereby muddling the readers. Naming every character isn’t necessary.

2. There are way too many subplots, and not all of them are tackled to completion. For instance, the teenagers who start the rumour are written away with a simple one liner. There’s no detailing on whether anyone identified them as the culprits. Quite a few of the subplots could have been deleted without impacting the main track of Thomas’s war efforts.

3. Years and places aren’t mentioned for a long time. The book was published in 2021, so I presumed, that the story was set in the same year. This led to some confusion as there’s a mention of the hundredth anniversary of the war but Thomas obviously couldn’t have served in WWI because of his age. The 22% point finally reveals the year to be 2014, clearing the confusion. Similarly, when the sub-track related to Michel and Nicole Moreau begins, it wasn’t specified that they were in France. “Saint Martin” could have been the name of any place.

4. Sometimes, basic character details aren’t mentioned as well. These are minor things but they make a difference while picturing the character and understanding their behaviour. For instance, who is the older sibling - Michel or Nicole? If both are eighty, are they twins? For how long has Ian been a journalist? Why was he worried about their financial condition? (I also didn’t get the whole “selling poppies” business at first. It was a Google search that clarified to me why poppies get such a regular mention in the story! But this is on me – I hadn’t heard of that custom ever before, so I can’t blame this on the book.)

5. Later on, the story goes back and forth between the past and the present, and between England and France. Sometimes, the same event is repeated from another character’s perspective. The problem is that not all the timeline changes are marked clearly. I don’t know if this was a formatting issue in the Kindle copy. I would have preferred separate chapters for different timelines.

6. The narrative viewpoint jumps randomly across characters within the same chapter. There could be a few paras from Ian’s perspective, the very next para might reveal things from his wife Debbie’s viewpoint. A few paras later, the narration could go back to Ian or maybe his daughter Ellie or even Thomas who isn’t even in the same house! It took me a long time to adjust to this haphazard style.

7. Most of the geriatrics in the book are at least 80, some much older. But they sure don't behave like most senior citizens of that age. Not a single one is sick or slow, most drink too much alcohol than bodies can handle at that age. Thomas even carries in his arms a healthy college-going girl for half a mile until her college, after she meets with an accident. It seems too unreal to believe.

8. There is a fair bit of telling, making the writing needlessly descriptive and even creating s

asically, this is a good story that gets bogged down by needless subplots and numerous characters. The focus is more on width than depth. A greater attention to detail and cutting down all frivolous tracks would have made a world of difference. On the positive side though, the book goes by very fast once you get used to the jumpy perspective and scene changes. This is a book to be read for its story, not its writing flourishes.

There's no doubt that the author has a great imagination; the story displays their research and their thinking clearly. The main thing needed is a better round of developmental editing and proofreading so that that creativity transfers from mind to paper seamlessly.

If I had to rate the book strictly for the story ignoring all else, it would have been 4.5 stars.

If I have to rate the book on its writing, it would get 2 stars.

Hence the average of the two ratings – 3.25 stars.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the author through @LucyTurnsPages on Twitter and these are my honest thoughts about it.