Gone but Still Here - Jennifer Dance

Author: Jennifer Dance

Genre: Contemporary Drama.

Rating: 4.5 stars.

In a Nutshell: A very emotional read focussing on the issues of Alzheimer’s sufferers as well as caregivers. It’s a slow and complicated read but the topic makes it worth the effort.

Story:

Mary: a seventy-five year old published writer who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Mary is determined to pen down her love story with her late husband Keith, whom she met in Trinidad in the 1960s. But with her memory degrading more day by day, will she be able to complete her story?

Kayla: Mary’s youngest daughter, single mom of three, singer. Only her youngest teen, Jesse, stays with her. But with Mary’s health worsening, Kayla has no choice but to bring Mary into her own home. Will she be able to handle this additional responsibility?

Sage: Kayla’s dog. Or rather, Jesse’s dog. A Golden Retriever, Sage is just as her name suggests, full of wisdom, understanding and caring. When her “Mom” brings “Gran” home, Sage knows that she also has to step up her responsibility. But her loyalties always lie with her main “upright”, Jesse.

The story comes to us in the first person perspective of these three distinct and enthralling characters.

Where the book worked for me:

😍 The author’s note right at the start sets a clear stage for the rest of the content. She talks about about her partner's Alzheimer's diagnosis and her frustrations being the caregiver. There is another author’s note at the end, which reveals the extent to which this story is based on true events. Keith Bowen, Mary’s late husband in the story, is based on the author’s first husband (also called Keith Bowen) and their inter-racial relationship. Kayla’s experiences are based the author’s caregiving for her second life partner, who is an Alzheimer’s patient. Both the notes made me quite emotional.

😍 I loved how the book highlighted not just the problems faced by the sufferer but also by the caregiver. Caregiving is never an easy job, but to do so for a patient with dementia has to be among the toughest of experiences. My heart went out to Kayla.

😍 The first person voice works brilliantly for the story. Mary’s confusion, Kayla’s frustration, and Sage’s muddled up loyalties, all come out clearly through the writing.

😍 Mary’s pov is the most complicated to read, as it feels like we are looking at a picture through window shades, with only a few glimpses available at a time. We feel as confused as an Alzheimer's patient would. It is only at the end that we understand what exactly she went through. I was in awe of the author’s writing skills for successfully creating such a complex jigsaw puzzle of Mary’s life.

😍 There is no picture perfect family just to add on to the idea of a family shattered by Alzheimer’s. Kayla’s relationship with one of her siblings is tricky. Her ex-husband isn’t glorified or vilified; he just isn’t there. Jesse’s teenage hormones are highly active. I loved how the author kept the characters real, not too goody-goody.

😍 I didn’t initially understand why the author chose to have Sage the dog narrating one of the povs, but as the story progressed, I began to see the beauty of that decision. Having another human perspective such as that of Jesse or Kayla’s siblings would have repeated the same feelings as that of Kayla. It is Sage who provides us an outsider’s view of the family’s troubles. Furthermore, she provides the right amount of comic relief as well as emotional moments, thus handling extremely well the tough task of being a narrator. The presence of Regis the cat adds the perfect amount of conflict in Sage’s life.

😍 The book covers quite a lot of heavy themes: racism/white supremacy, healthcare system issues, caregivers’ issues, patients’ issues, interracial relationship problems. All are handled well, not surprising as the author chose to base most of these on her own life.

😍 There is a touch of magic realism to the story, the details of which I won’t reveal here. But this adds a beautiful poignant element to the story.

😍 As Kayla’s story begins in 2019, the author successfully incorporates the effects of the covid-19 pandemic and the lockdown on patients and caregivers.

Where the book could have worked better for me:

☹ It is slow.

☹ It is very heavy on the feelings. I found myself needing a break after a few chapters to get my emotional battery recharged.

Overall, I simply loved the story, the writing, the issues, and Sage. Despite the slow pace, I didn’t lose my interest or my investment in the characters. The author seems to have captured the spirit of a sufferer, a caregiver and a dog aptly. Much recommended.

Note: If you are already in a caregiving situation to an Alzheimer’s patient, this book might be either cathartic or too traumatic. Take a call accordingly. Not recommended to readers who are in a depressed mindspace.

My thanks to Dundurn Press and NetGalley for the DRC of “Gone but Still Here”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.