When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi - ★★★.¾

AUTHOR: Paul Kalanithi

GENRE: Memoir

PUBLICATION DATE: January 12, 2016

RATING: 3.75 stars.

When you think of a doctor, you picture a strong, stoic, scientific person, one who works hard and works wonders. You assume that the doctor won't be religiously inclined because... well... science and religion are like oil and water. But when your assumptions are turned on their head, they cause a revolution in your mind.

Paul Kalanithi was a brilliant final-year neurosurgical resident, on his way to graduation and a successful worklife when he was diagnosed with lung cancer at the young age of 35. The diagnosis killed his hopes for his career trajectory, which had been shining brilliantly till then. As such, he used his last few months to fulfil another lifelong dream: that of penning a book.

I had expected "When Breath becomes Air" to be a morbid book about a man facing death and his struggle accepting this twist of fate. But this book is so much more. You can't help but be impressed by Dr. Kalanithi's approach towards his impending death. He has his weak moments, but he isn't afraid to admit this. As he says, doctors need hope too.

There are so many things to learn from this book. You start rethinking your entire approach towards a life you take for granted. An entire rigmarole of What Ifs starts playing out in your head.

In Dr. Kalanithi's words, "Once I had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, I began to view the world through two perspectives; I was starting to see death as both doctor and patient. As a doctor, I knew not to declare 'Cancer is a battle I am going to win!' or ask 'Why me?' (Answer: Why not me?) Like my own patients, I had to face my mortality and try to understand what made my life worth living…”

This book is quite philosophy-intensive, perhaps a reflection of the doctor's thoughts towards the end of his life. Dr. Kalanithi's love for medicine as well as literature shines through the chapters. Sadly, he didn't live long enough to complete the book, but the very last para he wrote is a beautiful culmination as it happens to be a message to his then eight-month-old daughter.

The epilogue by his wife gives a fitting end to the book and a fitting tribute to the man who stayed brave and courageous till the premature end of his life.

I was fully prepared for buckets of tears while reading this memoir, but surprisingly to me, I didn't cry. The good doctor's words were so enriching that I automatically stayed strong with him and for him. I am never going to forget this line: "Even if I'm dying, until I actually die, I am still living.”

This is one of the most heartbreaking and yet most uplifting books I have ever read. As the final token of a life tragically cut short, this book of Dr. Paul Kalanithi ensures that he will stay in the hearts of his family and his readers forever.

After reading this book, if you don't start appreciating the joy of living fully in the time you have without bearing grudges, you really need to rethink your approach to life.